net: do not consume a header until the body is there, and cap what one can claim

Upstream #109's message-stall rework, hand-merged so it keeps the progress
timing this tree already had.

The old path consumed the header, found the payload short, inserted the header
back at the front of vRecv, then Sleep(100) inside the shared message thread.
A peer that announces a large payload and drips bytes made every pass pay an
O(n) insert and a 100 ms stall -- one peer slowing the thread that serves all
of them. Now the header is read from a copy and only skipped once the whole
body has arrived, so there is nothing to put back and nothing to sleep for.

Kept OURS, not upstream's, on the timeout: upstream restarts its clock only
when the (size, command) pair changes, which drops a peer sending one big
message slowly but honestly. This times the STALL -- the clock restarts on any
progress -- which is the distinction that matters on a slow link.

Also from #109: a header could announce 256 MB while serialize.h refuses
anything over MAX_SIZE (32 MB), so the check admitted an allocation the parser
would reject anyway and burned a peer slot for two minutes doing it.
MAX_PROTOCOL_MESSAGE_SIZE ties the two together. 8x less a peer can make us
hold, and this node takes public Stratum.

And #103's other half: ~CNode closed its socket with a raw closesocket(),
invisible to the accounting, and left hSocket set afterwards -- which is how a
descriptor number that now belongs to somebody else gets closed a second time.

(cherry picked from commit 2f25e2e07985e9bc732cadfbb3c9ac233895a814)

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